“All lies are forbidden unless they are spoken for the sake of making peace. “

-Rabbi Yehuda Ha-Nasi, Baraita Perek Ha-Shalom

Lying is bad. We’ve been taught that from an early age. “Whatever you do, don’t like to me!” is a refrain of parents and lovers alike. It’s right there in the 10 Commandments, after all- Do Not Bear False Witness Against Thy Neighbor!

It seems there is one exception. We may like when it is for the sake of making peace between one person and another. Now, don’t take this as an excuse to lie to your spouse the next time you come home intoxicated at 4 in the morning. It’s not intended to get you off the hook for your own shortcomings.

The point being made here is that peace between people is so important that a departure from the strict truth is permitted if it will preserve or bring peace about. It’s about saving lives and restoring love.

Two friends, years back, had a bitter quarrel, and refused to speak to each other for months. A third friend went to each of them separately, and told each of them that the other was really sorry and wanted to make peace, but was too shy or ashamed to do so or even acknowledge their intentions, thinking the other would never forgive them.  Of course, this softened the hearts of each of them, and each thinking that the other was the true initiator, repaired their relationship.  A politician who tells a lie that prevents a war is a hero. Preserving life trumps a foolish insistence on perfect honesty. But it is a narrow gate to pass through, and not to be done lightly.

Is there a place in your life today where you struggle between perfect peace and perfect honesty?

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Judah the Prince (Hebrew Yehudah HaNasi) or Judah I, was a 2nd-century CE rabbi and chief redactor and editor of the Mishnah. He was a key leader of the Jewish community during the Roman occupation of Judea. According to the Talmud he was of the royal line of King David, hence the title nasi, meaning prince. Judah died on 15 Kislev around 217 CE.

Baraita (Aramaic for “external” or “outside”) designates a tradition in the Jewish oral law not incorporated in the Mishnah. Perek Ha-Shalom means “Chapter of Peace.”

Joe Laur is a father, husband, naturalist, executive, consultant, and a lowly rabbinic student. Send him your favorite teaching quote for commentary. He can be reached at joe.laur@godsdog.net.