Tag Archives: forgiveness

The Soul’s Long Journey

12 Wednesday Apr 2023

Posted by in Mystic Voices, Rabbinic Sages, Uncategorized

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

, , , , , , ,


“To what does the journey of the soul compare? To a person who planted a vineyard in his garden, intending to grow sweet grapes, but it grew sour ones. He saw that his planting didn’t succeed. He notched it and broke it off and cleared out the sour vines, and he planted again a second time. ‘Until how many times?’ [his students asked.] He said to them: ‘To the thousandth generation.’ ~ Sefer Bahir 185

In our high speed internet era, where nearly every need and whim can be satisfied with a mouse click, it can be challenging to accept that personal growth does not work that way. Our souls have their own timeframe, not measured in minutes, hours, days and years.  

Our souls are on learning journeys, and the greatest learnings are the ones that come to us only after many failed attempts at success. In fact, the case can be made that we deeply learn only by repeated failures.

when i learned to ride a bicycle, i did so primarily by being out of balance most of the time, falling down a hundred different ways, until I found the sweet spot where the force of gravity and the force of my legs balanced, where I rode that dynamic knife edge between left and right, moving forward on a path of balance. Once learned, it is not easily forgotten. You never forget how to ride a bike.  

Our souls are on the greatest trip of all, riding the sweet spot between wonder and knowledge, fear and exhilaration, love and solitude, heaven and earth. I don’t know if my soul is immortal or not. I do know that it belongs to eternity, and will travel that path of learning, passing it down through a thousand generations. 

Joe Laur is a father, husband, naturalist, executive, consultant, and student of The All. Send him your favorite teaching quote for commentary. He can be reached at joe.laur@joe.laur.com.

Forgiving Ourselves And Others

30 Wednesday Mar 2016

Posted by in Contemporary Sages, Uncategorized

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

, , , , ,

 

“It’s toughest to forgive ourselves. So it’s probably best to start with other people. It’s almost like peeling an onion. Layer by layer, forgiving others, you really do get to the point where you can forgive yourself.”

-Patty Duke

800px-Forgiveness_0001

Forgiveness can be tough to do, and forgiving ourselves may be the toughest slog of all. One of the difficulties is that often we aren’t aware that we are holding ourselves to blame in the first place. Our self blame may be hidden, out of sight, “in shadow” as the Jungians  put it. Even once we have surfaced our own self condemnation, it can still be tough to forgive ourselves. We often hold ourselves to higher standard than we do others. “I should have known better,” or “There’s no excuse for what I did!” are common internal refrains.

It’s time to give ourselves a break. We are just as frail, prone to error, and worthy of forgiveness as anyone else. In fact, to fail to forgive ourselves may be a kind of egoism- that we are such a bad person, so unworthy, nothing in the world can redeem us! Aren’t we special!

What nonsense. The core of the Torah, the Gospels, the Quran and most spiritual texts is to “love our neighbor as ourselves.” Not more, not less. Indeed, to love our neighbor we have to love ourselves. And if we don’t forgive, how can we love? We all mess up. We all need, and deserve a second chance. And a third, fourth, seventh, fifteenth, etc.! If we are created in G!D’s image, and Divine Love is boundless, can’t we channel some of that boundless love and forgiveness for ourselves? It’s worth a shot. We can at least forgive ourselves for trying…

What will you forgive yourself for today?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Anna Marie “Patty” Duke (December 14, 1946 – March 29, 2016) was an American actress of stage, film, and television. She first became known as a teen star, winning an Academy Award for Best Supporting Actress at age 16 for her role as Helen Keller in The Miracle Worker (1962), a role which she had originated on Broadway. The following year she was given her own show, The Patty Duke Show, in which she played “identical cousins”; she later progressed to more mature roles such as that of Neely O’Hara in the film Valley of the Dolls (1967). Over the course of her career, she received ten Emmy Award nominations and three Emmy Awards, and two Golden Globe Awards

Joe Laur is a father, husband, naturalist, executive, consultant, and a lowly rabbinic student. Send him your favorite teaching quote for commentary. He can be reached at joe.laur@godsdog.net.

Strong Enough to Forgive

08 Tuesday Mar 2016

Posted by in Historic Voices, Uncategorized

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

, , , , ,

“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.”

-Mahatma Gandhi

forgive-208824_1280

The Course in Miracles posits that forgiveness is essentially acknowledging that we have not been harmed. How can that be? Certainly the events that require forgiveness in the first place are ones where some harm has been done! I think what is meant is that when we are strong enough to recognize that we have survived a hurt, grown from a wound, maybe even become stronger in spite of, or because of it, we can then let go of the hatred or resentment toward the person who caused the hurt in the first place.

I”m not a fan of being naive, of “forgive and forget”. A dear friend of mine suggests that we “forgive and remember”; in other words, forgive our past hurts, let go of that burden, but realize that some people may hurt us again, and to extend trust to those we know won’t betray it. The world is not our mother.

But when we are strong, we realize that despite the slings and arrows we have been struck by, we are still standing, and we can extend the gift of forgiveness. Recognizing the blessing in our lives helps us to see through Rumi’s eyes: “What strikes the oyster doesn’t harm the pearl.” Gandhi’s entire life message was one of forgiving others their brutality and ignorance while relentlessly pursuing our own path. In so doing, he opened the eyes of his friends and foes alike to their mutual humanity. To walk that path requires enormous strength. And leads us to a place where few, if any, can truly harm us.

Where can you ask and grant forgiveness in your life today?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi ( 2 October 1869 – 30 January 1948) was the preeminent leader of the Indian independence movement in British-ruled India. Employing nonviolent civil disobedience, Gandhi led India to independence and inspired movements for civil rights and freedom across the world. The honorific Mahatma (Sanskrit: “high-souled”, “venerable”)—applied to him first in 1914 in South Africa,—is now used worldwide. He is also called Bapu (Gujarati: endearment for “father”or “papa”) in India. In common parlance in India he is often called Gandhiji. He is unofficially called the Father of the Nation.

Joe Laur is a father, husband, naturalist, executive, consultant, and a lowly rabbinic student. He can be reached at joe.laur@godsdog.net.

Forgiving Ourselves

02 Tuesday Feb 2016

Posted by in Contemporary Sages, Uncategorized

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

, , , ,

“We achieve inner health only through forgiveness – the forgiveness not only of others but also of ourselves” – Rabbi Joshua Loth Liebman

The Prodigal Son, Rembrandt

Usually when we think of forgiveness, we think of it in terms of others; either forgiving others who have wronged us, or asking forgiveness of those we have wronged. But what about forgiving ourselves for our “trespasses” against our own ideals?

I find self forgiveness the most difficult. I can usually find a way to forgive others without too much difficulty, especially if they acknowledge the hurt they caused me and ask for forgiveness. That melts my heart. If i’m aware of hurting others, I want to make it right between us as well. I don’t like to leave accounts unsettled, or be at odds with people I care about. But what about settling scores with my self?

I’m  my own harshest critic, as many of us are. A friend once told me she had an “inner prosecutor” who reminded her continuously of everything she’d done wrong. She got the idea of hiring an “inner defense attorney” to handle her case! Can we treat ourselves as well as we want others to treat us? As well as we want to treat others? How can we find ways to forgive ourselves, and genuinely return to our highest ideals?

I usually start by imagining how I’d treat a dear friend. If we are supposed to love others as ourselves, that means we have to love ourselves! I ask myself, if someone else had done this thing, fallen short of their ideals with me, would I forgive them? The answer is almost always yes. So why should I be harder than that on myself? Extending forgiveness to ourselves also makes it easier to extend it to others. And we all know that practice makes perfect.

What can you forgive yourself for today, and let it be as dust in the wind?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Joshua Loth Liebman (1907–1948), was an American rabbi and best-selling author, best known for the book Peace of Mind, which spent more than a year at #1 on the New York Times Best Seller list.

Joe Laur is a father, husband, artist, builder, naturalist, consultant, and EcoKosher mashgiach. He lives with his wife Sara in western Massachusetts, where he serves as head groundskeeper and resident singer songwriter. Send him your favorite teaching quote for commentary. He can be reached at joe.laur@joelaur.com.

Seeing Peace

29 Friday Jan 2016

Posted by in Contemporary Sages, Uncategorized

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

, , , ,

“I could see peace instead of this.” – A Course in Miracles

word_peace_in_sand_187143

Following my cousin David’s death in a car crash caused by a drunk driver, my deep sadness was mixed with fiery rage. That drunken, speeding, SOB! That party boy! I stare at his Facebook page, at him smiling in front of the big Mercedes that killed David and his love Liz, and I am obsessed with this smiling hot shot, his sharp clothes, the young women he poses with, pictures of his Bloody Mary he’s calling “lunch” on his page. I am enraged, full of judgment, and it’s starting to obsess and eat me alive.

There is another way. When the Course in Miracles says I could see peace instead of  horror, anger rage, revenge, it offers me a way out of hell. Without denying the outrage and injustice of David’s death, I can channel my righteous action into anger, telling my friends never to drink and drive, donate to M.A.D.D., go for a run to get the energy moving in a positive direction. This is not forgive and forget. It is forgive and remember. Remember that people, all of us, are capable of mindless acts that can do irreparable harm. Remember, that there were times in my youth, when I drove after too many drinks. Times when I sped. Times when I sleepwalk through life, unawares.

Suddenly my anger gives way to deep sadness. I’m sorry this happened, to David, to Liz, even to young playboy Vladymyr in his Mercedes. He’s dead too, his young life extinguished. As I let the tears flow, I see a path out of hell. Channel the anger into right action. Let the grief have its way with me until I find release. Remember my cousin for his life, not just his death. Had I been offered him for 51 years with the understanding that he’d be taken away afterward, would I have signed the deal? Absolutely. His presence in my life has been huge blessing. Why let anger at his passing eat me alive and negate that?

I can see peace now, even through the tears. I can see the blessing that David has been to so many, see the needless loss that many have suffered, and live my life with an awareness that bad things can happen to good people; but if I’m on point, it can happen less. Just like David, I can bring some peace to this world. It eases the sting a little. I know it’s the right thing to do. Channel the anger into positive action, forgive, remember, and stay awake. In David’s name, I can make peace. It’s what he’d do.

What can you make peace with that is eating you?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A Course in Miracles is a book written and edited by Helen Schucman, with portions transcribed and edited by William Thetford, containing a self-study curriculum to bring about what it calls a “spiritual transformation”.

Joe Laur is a father, husband, artist, builder, naturalist, consultant, and EcoKosher mashgiach. He lives with his wife Sara in western Massachusetts, where he serves as head groundskeeper and resident singer songwriter. Send him your favorite teaching quote for commentary. He can be reached at joe.laur@joelaur.com.