“I could see peace instead of this.” – A Course in Miracles

Following my cousin David’s death in a car crash caused by a drunk driver, my deep sadness was mixed with fiery rage. That drunken, speeding, SOB! That party boy! I stare at his Facebook page, at him smiling in front of the big Mercedes that killed David and his love Liz, and I am obsessed with this smiling hot shot, his sharp clothes, the young women he poses with, pictures of his Bloody Mary he’s calling “lunch” on his page. I am enraged, full of judgment, and it’s starting to obsess and eat me alive.

There is another way. When the Course in Miracles says I could see peace instead of  horror, anger rage, revenge, it offers me a way out of hell. Without denying the outrage and injustice of David’s death, I can channel my righteous action into anger, telling my friends never to drink and drive, donate to M.A.D.D., go for a run to get the energy moving in a positive direction. This is not forgive and forget. It is forgive and remember. Remember that people, all of us, are capable of mindless acts that can do irreparable harm. Remember, that there were times in my youth, when I drove after too many drinks. Times when I sped. Times when I sleepwalk through life, unawares.

Suddenly my anger gives way to deep sadness. I’m sorry this happened, to David, to Liz, even to young playboy Vladymyr in his Mercedes. He’s dead too, his young life extinguished. As I let the tears flow, I see a path out of hell. Channel the anger into right action. Let the grief have its way with me until I find release. Remember my cousin for his life, not just his death. Had I been offered him for 51 years with the understanding that he’d be taken away afterward, would I have signed the deal? Absolutely. His presence in my life has been huge blessing. Why let anger at his passing eat me alive and negate that?

I can see peace now, even through the tears. I can see the blessing that David has been to so many, see the needless loss that many have suffered, and live my life with an awareness that bad things can happen to good people; but if I’m on point, it can happen less. Just like David, I can bring some peace to this world. It eases the sting a little. I know it’s the right thing to do. Channel the anger into positive action, forgive, remember, and stay awake. In David’s name, I can make peace. It’s what he’d do.

What can you make peace with that is eating you?

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A Course in Miracles is a book written and edited by Helen Schucman, with portions transcribed and edited by William Thetford, containing a self-study curriculum to bring about what it calls a “spiritual transformation”.

Joe Laur is a father, husband, artist, builder, naturalist, consultant, and EcoKosher mashgiach. He lives with his wife Sara in western Massachusetts, where he serves as head groundskeeper and resident singer songwriter. Send him your favorite teaching quote for commentary. He can be reached at joe.laur@joelaur.com.